It's ticked off the list, it's finally been watched. Am I more whole as a human being? Probably not. But I am content in the knowledge that the next person who says 'Just like Harry and Sally' will receive more than an idiotic half smile from me in response. And the film was ok too.
SO, this is a really, really interesting topic-especially when you get into a conversation on the subject of platonic friends and one of the group suddenly realises that their appropriate opposite sex relationship is not so appropriate after all!
Can men and women just be friends. Ever?!
Any relationship can be complicated at the best of times but throw some testosterone and oestrogen into the pot and things can get heated very quickly. As much popular culture attempts to show us, left to simmer (Yep, I really am going to see this cooking analogy to the end) an opposite sex relationship will undoubtedly 'boil' over either ending in unmitigated disaster and broken hearts or turn out to be the fairytale ending you're apparently dreaming of. See here, here and here for some basic evidence. So what is appropriate and what isn't when maintaining a relationship with a member of the opposite sex?
My boundaries are pretty clear these days, more so than they were in my late teens, but thats just to be expected right? And anyway, from what I gather the hedonistic approach to relationships that tends to happen in your late teens, does for many, continue right into their twenties, so actually I am WAY ahead of the game in my settled marriage and whatnot. I even have the opposite sex, non-sexual, completely platonic friends to prove it. So there.
So what are the rules of these relationships. After going over and over the same points with a couple of friends here is what we have come up with. It is perfectly acceptable to hold hands, have a bit of a sob on the shoulder of and hug your gay friends. The hugging bit stretches to your exes providing they aren't 'never let me go' hugs full of desperation (at which point you should probably cut contact off for a bit!) and crying is alright as long as its once in 10 years. Straight friends who aren't exes should defiantely not be getting tactile, a quick cheek peck and arm on the shoulder should suffice. And defiantely don't start bad-mouthing your current partner or breaking down into floods of tears because your 'friend' hasn't a) text you back for over an hour, b) is too busy to see you or, c) has just got engaged. A biggie that came to light in our chat (and definately enlightened one member of the table who is since reassesing her life!) was do not convince yourself that speaking to said straight friend once a day and calling them to tell them your exciting news before anyone else is a sign of a solid platonic relationship. You are definately faking it and should seek professional help immediately...
SO, this is a really, really interesting topic-especially when you get into a conversation on the subject of platonic friends and one of the group suddenly realises that their appropriate opposite sex relationship is not so appropriate after all!
Can men and women just be friends. Ever?!
Any relationship can be complicated at the best of times but throw some testosterone and oestrogen into the pot and things can get heated very quickly. As much popular culture attempts to show us, left to simmer (Yep, I really am going to see this cooking analogy to the end) an opposite sex relationship will undoubtedly 'boil' over either ending in unmitigated disaster and broken hearts or turn out to be the fairytale ending you're apparently dreaming of. See here, here and here for some basic evidence. So what is appropriate and what isn't when maintaining a relationship with a member of the opposite sex?
My boundaries are pretty clear these days, more so than they were in my late teens, but thats just to be expected right? And anyway, from what I gather the hedonistic approach to relationships that tends to happen in your late teens, does for many, continue right into their twenties, so actually I am WAY ahead of the game in my settled marriage and whatnot. I even have the opposite sex, non-sexual, completely platonic friends to prove it. So there.
So what are the rules of these relationships. After going over and over the same points with a couple of friends here is what we have come up with. It is perfectly acceptable to hold hands, have a bit of a sob on the shoulder of and hug your gay friends. The hugging bit stretches to your exes providing they aren't 'never let me go' hugs full of desperation (at which point you should probably cut contact off for a bit!) and crying is alright as long as its once in 10 years. Straight friends who aren't exes should defiantely not be getting tactile, a quick cheek peck and arm on the shoulder should suffice. And defiantely don't start bad-mouthing your current partner or breaking down into floods of tears because your 'friend' hasn't a) text you back for over an hour, b) is too busy to see you or, c) has just got engaged. A biggie that came to light in our chat (and definately enlightened one member of the table who is since reassesing her life!) was do not convince yourself that speaking to said straight friend once a day and calling them to tell them your exciting news before anyone else is a sign of a solid platonic relationship. You are definately faking it and should seek professional help immediately...
