When I was pregant with A I simply HAD to find out if I would be having a girl or boy. It felt surreal to me to be carrying a child and not know whether they were a 'he' or 'she' and I really wanted to get excited and think of them as 'them'. However, I should admit, I was really never prepared for the fact that I could be told my baby was a boy. I feel awful just typing that nevermind how guilty I felt at the rush of relief swept over me as the sonographer said "I am almost 100% certain that that is a girl and I have been doing this for a long time!"
In my heart of hearts I knew it did not matter what the gender of the baby was as I would inevitably love either just the same, it was just I was so fearful and anxious of being told I was having boy because...well, frankly, I know nothing about them! Having a daughter fitted in with all my idealistic imaginings of bonding over all kinds of girly things and alongside my close relationship with the females in my family I could only see positives.
With a boy I could only see panic. What if he thinks I'm lame? Boys always think I'm lame...How do I engage a boy?! What if he just wants to play football with his Dad or is really rough and tumble and I'm the mum in the corner anxiously biting her nails as he jumps off of something high?! What if he just doesn't like me!?
Of course the reality is all of these things are possible with either genders: Alexa is already more rough and tumble than I am and Daddy is definately the favourite around these parts! Being quite open-minded and a studier of people I was quite shocked to find myself thinking of the matter in such a stereotyped manner. I am almost certain pregnancy hormones really do make you crazy!
From the very beginning of this pregnancy I was adamant I was having a boy and when it was revealed at the twenty week scan that I was right, I was not in the least bit shocked. For all of a few seconds I was dumbstruck. "A BOY! Wow. That's quite cool" I silently confirmed to myself. Then I glanced over at my husband who looked shocked and daunted all at once...it seems we've swapped roles this time!
Would you find out what gender your baby was? And, aside from wanting a healthy baby of course, would you secretly hope for a girl or boy? I'm so excited to experience having a Son and a Daughter I can barely wait for him to arrive now!
Oh! Before I go. Check out this lovely book primarily about a brother/sister relationship which made my heart melt.